MBAs vs CAs

7 MBA and 7 CA's are going from PUNE to Mumbai.

So both groups gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying

to prove their superiority.

SCENE 1 (PUNE - MUMBAI) :

7 MBA take only 1 Ticket and 7 CA's buy all 7 tickets...

CA's are desperately waiting for TC to come......

When TC arrives,

All 7 MBA get in one toilet So when TC knocks, one

hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes away....

CA's say "Dekh lenge"

NOW on return Journey all of them don't get a direct

train to PUNE.

So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they

can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :

CA's decided, "this time we will prove that we too are equally SHAANE"....

All 7 CA's take 1 Ticket &

MBA don't buy ticket at all!!!!!..

TC arrives....

All CA's in one toilet &

All MBA's in the opposite one..

One MBA gets out and knocks the door of CA's toilet,

One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in

MBA Bathroom...

TC drives out all the CA's from the toilet and they are heavily

fined........

tai tai fissssssss..

SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA-PUNE) :

So now both the group on LONAVALA station..

CA's planning their move for last chance.. they board the local to PUNE.

This time CA's decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick.

All CA's take 1 tickets... & MBA buy all 7 tickets this time...

So TC comes....

All MBA show their tickets.....

CA's are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL............

Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days

A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US . It was sent by one of the daughters.

The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:

Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,

I am sending Ba's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT .

Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.

You will find inside the coffin, under Ba's body, cans of cheese,

10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.

On Ba's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.

Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.

Just distribute the rest among yourselves.

The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.

The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba's left wrist.

Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.

The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among my nephews.

Please distribute all these fairly.

PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days

THE BEST DETECTIVE

A policeman was interrogating 3 SARDARS who were training to become detectives.

To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first SARDAR a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first SARDAR answers,

"That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says,

"Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second SARDAR and asks him,

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second SARDAR smiles, flips his hair and says,

"Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds,

"What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third SARDAR and in a very testy voice asks,

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

He quickly adds,

"Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The SARDAR looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,

"The suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.

"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get

back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.

"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy,"

the SARDAR replied.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

PERFECT HUSBAND

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.

A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man

ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on

pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized

that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts

with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do

not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with

the money, I will certainly help you." "I would

have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette

instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from

his pocket and offered one to the beggar.

The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious

to health."

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket

and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy

the stuff. It is really good".

The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the

brain and damages the liver".

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going

to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some

tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the

whole amount and leave me alone".

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by

saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as

betting on horses is a bad habit."

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come

to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up

in anticipation of receiving at least something from the

man. But he still had his doubts and asked the

man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with

you".

The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like."

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in

The room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back

After 6 hours and then analyze

The situation.

If they are counting the

Bricks.

Put them in the accounts

Department.

If they are recounting them..

Put them in auditing ..

If they have messed up the

Whole place with the bricks.

Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the

Bricks in some strange order.

Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the

Bricks at each other.

Put them in operations .

If they are sleeping.

Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks

Into pieces.

Put them in information

Technology.

If they are sitting idle.

Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried

Different combinations, yet

Not a brick has

Been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for

The day.

Put them in marketing...

If they are staring out of the

Window.

Put them on strategic

Planning..

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each

Other and not a single brick

Has been

Moved.

Congratulate them and put them

In Top management