MEN!!!!!!!!

At an Irish wedding reception recently the master of ceremonies yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

5 NICE LITTLE STORIES

1. Once, all villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella...

THAT'S FAITH

2. When you throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her...

THAT'S TRUST

3.Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next Morning but still we set the alarms in our watch to wake up...

THAT'S HOPE

4. We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future or having any certainty of uncertainties...

THAT'S CONFIDENCE

5. We see the world suffering. We know there is every possibility of same or similar things happening to us. But still we get married??...

THAT'S OVER CONFIDENCE!!

BEAUTY OF MATHS

Beauty of Mathematics!!!!!!!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9+ 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Mind Boggling....

Now, take a look at this...

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they
Are giving more than100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to

GIVE OVER 100%...

How aboutACHIEVING 101%?

What equals100%in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
Answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11= 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

If you find this interesting share it with your friends & loved ones.
Have a nice day & God bless you.

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED?

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time. !

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is Rs 500 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

THE OBEDIENT WIFE

The Obedient Wife

There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money,

And was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."

And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him. 

Well, he died

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,
"Wait just a moment!"

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.

So her friend said,
"Girl, I know you were not foolish
Enough to put all that money in there with your husband."

The loyal wife replied,
"Listen, I'm a Christian;
I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him."

"You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?"

"I sure did," said the wife.

"I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque....

If he can cash it, then he can spend it."

This mail is meant for every clever female, and

for every man who thinks they are smarter than women!!!

BASIC MILITARY LAWS

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
   * Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
   * Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
   * The easy way is always mined.
   * Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
   * If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
   * Incoming fire has the right of way.
   * No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
   * No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
   * If the enemy is within range, so are you.
   * The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is
incoming friendly fire.
   * Tracers work both ways.
   * Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of
dangerous amateurs.
   * Military Intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
   * Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
   * When in doubt, empty your magazine.
   * The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
   * Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
   * The most dangerous thing in the world is a Lieutenant with a map
and a compass.
   * The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it
away to be repaired.
   * The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ
of the weapon's operator.
   * If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
   * To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To
steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
   * The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the INSAS.
   * The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater
than your jumping range.
   * The crucial round is a dud.
   * There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
   * Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
   * Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the
General is watching.
   * Things that must be together to work can never be sent together.
   * The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
   * If you have a personality conflict with your superior: he has
the personality, you have the conflict.
   * If you enter CO's office with an idea, most likely, you will
leave his office with CO's idea.