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Monday, June 13, 2011

BASIC MILITARY LAWS

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
   * Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
   * Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
   * The easy way is always mined.
   * Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
   * If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.
   * Incoming fire has the right of way.
   * No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
   * No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
   * If the enemy is within range, so are you.
   * The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is
incoming friendly fire.
   * Tracers work both ways.
   * Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of
dangerous amateurs.
   * Military Intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
   * Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
   * When in doubt, empty your magazine.
   * The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
   * Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
   * The most dangerous thing in the world is a Lieutenant with a map
and a compass.
   * The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it
away to be repaired.
   * The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ
of the weapon's operator.
   * If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything.
   * To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To
steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
   * The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the INSAS.
   * The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater
than your jumping range.
   * The crucial round is a dud.
   * There is no such place as a convenient foxhole.
   * Density of fire increases proportionally to the curiousness of the target.
   * Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the
General is watching.
   * Things that must be together to work can never be sent together.
   * The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
   * If you have a personality conflict with your superior: he has
the personality, you have the conflict.
   * If you enter CO's office with an idea, most likely, you will
leave his office with CO's idea.

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