Sunday, October 25, 2009
Venkatraman Mukherjee Singh
Monday, October 12, 2009
MURPHY LAWs
Saturday, October 10, 2009
If Columbus had been married?
If Columbus had been married, he might never have discovered America because of the following ...
* Where are you going?
* With whom?
* Why?
* How are you going?
* To discover what?
* Why you?
* What do I do, when you are not here?
* Can I come with you ?
* Coming back when?
* Dinner ghar par hi khaoge?
* Mere liye kya laoge?
* It seems you deliberately made this ....
* Don't lie....
* Why r u making such programs
* You seem to be making a lot of such programs
* Why?
* I want to go to my parents place
* I want you to come and leave me
* I don't want to come back....
* I will never come back....
* Why are u not stopping me....
* I don't understand what is this discovery chakker?
* You always do like this.....
* Last time also u did like this....
* Now a day's u always seem to do like this....
* I still don't understand what else is balance to be discovered..
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
GOD & POST OFFICE
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read: It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. Dear God,
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. I think it might have been those bastards at the post office. Sincerely, Edna |
Thursday, October 1, 2009
DOCTOR & 3 PATIENTS
One morning at a doctor's surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain. The doctor examines him and asks him, "OK, what happened to your back?"
The patient replies, "You know that I work for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew someone had been with my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself. I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That's how I strained my back"
The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck. The doctor said, "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible What the hell happened to you?"
He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge."
The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two patients did. The doctor is shocked. Again asks, "What the hell happened to youuuuuu.....?"
"Well I was sitting in a fridge & someone threw it from the 3rd floor"
VALUE TIME & FRIENDS & DEAR ONEs
'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!'
'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.
'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'
She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're both coming forour anniversary and paying their own airfare!!'