HAPPIER PEOPLE@MEN

Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES

· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.

· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, ****head and **** for Brains..

EATING OUT

· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.

· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

· A woman has the last word in any argument..

· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams..

· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

thanks pelia sir

MEN!!!!!!!!

At an Irish wedding reception recently the master of ceremonies yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

OPPORTUNITY KNOCK ONCE

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks,

'Did you see me rob this bank?'

The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'

The robber then shot him point blank, killing him instantly.. 

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man,

'Did you see me rob this bank?' 

The man smartly replied... 

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"No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

- Moral -

When Opportunity knocks....

MAKE USE OF IT !!!!  

ERRONEOUS E-MAIL

A man checked into a hotel.
There was a computer in his room,
So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address,
and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile... Somewhere in Houston ,
a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral.
The widow decided to check her e-mail,
expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.


After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room,
found his mother on the floor,
and saw the computer screen which read:
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To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 18 december 2009



I know you're surprised to hear from me.
They gave computers here,
and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.
I've just reached and have been checked in..
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow

If Columbus had been married?

If Columbus had been married, he might never have discovered America because of the following ...

*   Where are you going?
*   With whom?
*   Why?
*   How are you going?
*   To discover what?
*   Why you?
*   What do I do, when you are not here?
*   Can I come with you ?
*   Coming back when?
*   Dinner ghar par hi khaoge?
*   Mere liye kya laoge?
*   It seems you deliberately made this ....
*   Don't lie....
*   Why r u making such programs
*   You seem to be making a lot of such programs
*   Why?
*   I want to go to my parents place
*   I want you to come and leave me
*   I don't want to come back....
*   I will never come back....
*   Why are u not stopping me....
*   I don't understand what is this discovery chakker?
*   You always do like this.....
*   Last time also u did like this....
*   Now a day's u always seem to do like this....
*   I still don't understand what else is balance to be discovered..