Marwadi at his best

Marwadi: Kela Kaisa Diya?                                                  
S.K: 1 Rs.                                                                
Marwadi: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?                                            
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.                                  
Marwadi:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de                        
                                                                          
Marwadi on his death time.                                                
My wife, where r u ?                                                      
Wife:Yes, I'm here                                                        
My sons daughters ru all here?                                            
Yes, Papa                                                                  
Marwadi:To phir barabar wale kamre                                        
ka pankha Q chal raha hay ???                                              
                                                                            

Marwadi 14th floor se neche gira                                          
Girte waqt usne                                                            
apni ghar ki khirki me                                                    
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha                                        
to chilla k bola                                                          
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!                                                    
                                                                            
Marwadi ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.                        
Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.                                        
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,                                      
Marwadi ne phir khoon dia.                                                
Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye, Marwadi:Ghusse se poocha :  
mercedez kion nahi di?                                                    
Sheikh:Munna. !! Ab hamarey ander bhi Marwadi ka khoon daud raha hay      
                                                                            
Marwadi called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai,    
kya charges hongay?                                                        
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word..                                                
Marwadi: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye".            
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!                              
Marwadi: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... .......... ..      
Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale .                                      
                                                                            
Marwadi ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?                  
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.                                                  
Marwadi ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:                                
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.                                      
                                                                          
Marwadi ko bhoot charh gaya ,                                              
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola, Ojha sahab mujhe      
bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga                        
                                                                            
Titanic K Sath Marwadi Bhi Doob Raha Tha Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha            
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?                                              
Marwadi: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda          

NO INTENTIONS FOR INSULTING ANY MARWADI.....POSTED IN GOOD HUMOUR!!!!

SUCCESS OF MARRIAGE

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary.

They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years.

 

Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known "happy going marriage".  

Editor: "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: 

 

"We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage.

 

Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses.

 

My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. 

On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over.

 

Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said "This is your first time".

 

She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again.

 

This time she again kept calm and said "This is your second time" and continued.

 

When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !! 

I shouted at my wife: "What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you  crazy?" .. 

She gave a silent look and said: "This is your first time!!!"."  

Husband:"That' s it. We are happy ever after."