ALOCHOL IS GOOD FOR DRIVING?

Please, take care of yourself.  A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.    This means that the remaining 77% are caused by a**holes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, yogurts, and shit like that.

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause twice as many accidents.  This message is sent by someone who worries about your well being.

Alcohol Trouble Shooting

BEWARE of these side effects of Alcohol & Take necessary care!!

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.

Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).

Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.

Cause: You're lying on the floor.

Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.

Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.

Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

4. Symptom: The floor is moving.

Cause: You're being dragged away.

Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.

5. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.

Cause: You're in an ambulance.

Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.