PERFECT HUSBAND

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.

A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man

ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on

pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized

that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts

with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do

not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with

the money, I will certainly help you." "I would

have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette

instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from

his pocket and offered one to the beggar.

The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious

to health."

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket

and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy

the stuff. It is really good".

The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the

brain and damages the liver".

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going

to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some

tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the

whole amount and leave me alone".

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by

saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as

betting on horses is a bad habit."

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come

to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up

in anticipation of receiving at least something from the

man. But he still had his doubts and asked the

man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with

you".

The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like."

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in

The room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back

After 6 hours and then analyze

The situation.

If they are counting the

Bricks.

Put them in the accounts

Department.

If they are recounting them..

Put them in auditing ..

If they have messed up the

Whole place with the bricks.

Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the

Bricks in some strange order.

Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the

Bricks at each other.

Put them in operations .

If they are sleeping.

Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks

Into pieces.

Put them in information

Technology.

If they are sitting idle.

Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried

Different combinations, yet

Not a brick has

Been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for

The day.

Put them in marketing...

If they are staring out of the

Window.

Put them on strategic

Planning..

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each

Other and not a single brick

Has been

Moved.

Congratulate them and put them

In Top management

POWER CUT

ERRONEOUS E-MAIL

A man checked into a hotel.
There was a computer in his room,
So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.

However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address,
and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile... Somewhere in Houston ,
a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral.
The widow decided to check her e-mail,
expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.


After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room,
found his mother on the floor,
and saw the computer screen which read:
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To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 18 december 2009



I know you're surprised to hear from me.
They gave computers here,
and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.
I've just reached and have been checked in..
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow

Alcohol Trouble Shooting

BEWARE of these side effects of Alcohol & Take necessary care!!

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.

Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).

Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.

Cause: You're lying on the floor.

Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.

Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.

Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

4. Symptom: The floor is moving.

Cause: You're being dragged away.

Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.

5. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.

Cause: You're in an ambulance.

Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.