WIFE CONTROL!!!

God comes and says :-

"I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who had control over their women, and the other one for the men who were controlled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk.

Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines. The line for the men who were controlled by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who had control over their women there is only one man. God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all controlled by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!" "Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replies,

"I don't know, my wife told me to stand here.

WISDOM

1. When I was married 25 years, i took a look at my wife one day and said, "honey, 25 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car,slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white tv,but i got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old blonde."Now we have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, nice big bed and plasma screen tv,but i'm sleeping with a 50-year-old woman.it seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

2. Wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out & find a hot 25-year-old blonde,and sh e would make sure that i would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white tv.

IQ TEST

Test for IQ

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly.. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK? 

Let's find out just how clever you really are.... 

Ready? GO!!! 

First Question: 

Y ou are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? 

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are

absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person, you take his place, so you are second! 

Try not to screw up next time. 

Now answer the second question,

but don't take as much time as you took for the first one, OK ? 

Second Question: 

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? 

You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question: 

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only .

Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. 

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 .

Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 

Now add 10 . What is the total? 

Answer:

Did you get 5000 ? 

The correct answer is actually 4100. 

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it? 

Maybe you'll get the last question right....

...Maybe. 

Fourth Question: 

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the ! name of the fifth daughter? 

Did you Answer Nunu? 

NO! Of course it isn't. 

Her name is Mary. Read the question again! 

Okay, now the bonus round: 

  

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. 

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants? 

He just has to open his mouth and ask...It's really very simple.... Like you!

SUPER FAN

Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when he arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium - he's closer to the Goodyear blimp than the field. 

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field, right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. 

As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" 

The man says no. 

Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?"

The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been at together since we got married in 1967." 

"Well, that's really sad," says Bob, " but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or close friend?" 

"No," the man replies,   

"they're all at the funeral!!"

10 NATIONAL LEADERS IN THIS TREE!!!!!!