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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

THE BEST DETECTIVE


A policeman was interrogating 3 SARDARS who were training to become detectives.


To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first SARDAR a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it.


"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"


The first SARDAR answers,

"That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"


The policeman says,

"Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second SARDAR and asks him,


"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second SARDAR smiles, flips his hair and says,

"Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"


The policeman angrily responds,

"What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"


Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third SARDAR and in a very testy voice asks,

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"


He quickly adds,

"Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The SARDAR looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,

"The suspect wears contact lenses."


The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.


"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get

back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.


"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"


"That's easy,"

the SARDAR replied.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

PERFECT HUSBAND

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.

A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man
ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on
pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized
that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts
with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do
not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with
the money, I will certainly help you." "I would
have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette
instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from
his pocket and offered one to the beggar.

The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious
to health."

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket
and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy
the stuff. It is really good".

The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the
brain and damages the liver".

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going
to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some
tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the
whole amount and leave me alone".

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by
saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as
betting on horses is a bad habit."

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come
to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up
in anticipation of receiving at least something from the
man. But he still had his doubts and asked the
man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with
you".

The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like."

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in

The room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back

After 6 hours and then analyze

The situation.

If they are counting the

Bricks.

Put them in the accounts

Department.


If they are recounting them..

Put them in auditing ..


If they have messed up the

Whole place with the bricks.

Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the

Bricks in some strange order.

Put them in planning.


If they are throwing the

Bricks at each other.

Put them in operations .

If they are sleeping.

Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks

Into pieces.

Put them in information

Technology.

If they are sitting idle.

Put them in human resources.


If they say they have tried

Different combinations, yet

Not a brick has

Been moved. Put them in sales.

If they have already left for

The day.

Put them in marketing...

If they are staring out of the

Window.

Put them on strategic

Planning..


And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each

Other and not a single brick

Has been

Moved.


Congratulate them and put them

In Top management

POWER CUT